Tuesday, August 2, 2011

1. So I deleted my twitter a few months back and some days I regret it because I have things to say… like isn’t it weird that I like peanut M&Ms but I don’t like peanut butter M&Ms? These are important thoughts that I need to express. Wtf.

2. Im pretty sure I have a false sense of radio station contests being easy to win ever since I called into Alice and told a story that won me concert tickets. It was so easy… they picked up on the first ring. Simple. Well that was obviously a fluke in the system. I have now tried twice to win tickets to Las Vegas on 95.7 and the line is always fucking busy. Like I haven’t heard a ring one mother fucking time. It almost makes me question whether they are really giving away tickets or not. I think they must be lying. And nobody wants to party w liars, The Party. Ps. I didn’t win tickets, but I think I may have won a restraining order. If youd answer then I wouldn’t have to call so many times. Duh.

3. I really like that new Little Wayne song (is it supposed to be Lil’? Because I just feel funny typing that, Im white thanks) how to love. I think its super cute and it almost seems like a joke since he is singing, but since I keep hearing it Im assuming its real, and therefore I like it. I don’t really know any other songs by him, but I do know that his nickname is Little Weezy. I learned that a few years back when he was on tv and everyone was calling him Little Weezy and I said ‘I thought that guy was Little Wyane.’ Haha. How the hell was I supposed to know his nickname? I think I should get points for at least knowing what he looked like. Not that he is that hard to miss, but still.

4. Dear pet owners, if you have an asshole dickbag dog don’t bring them to the fucking dog park. Are you retarded? I almost kicked a dog straight in the head last night. It was a boxer and I knew from the minute he came in that he was going to be trouble. (Not because he was a boxer, but because you can just know an asshole when you see one.) And of course this dog has to get into it with Sunday. Shes only the sweetest best dog ever. If the owner hadn’t come up and literally yanked the dog off of her that dog would be fucking dead. So moral of the story, if your dog is a jerkoff and doesn’t like other dogs and doesn’t know the difference between playing and attempting murder then don’t FUCKING bring them to the neighborhood park. Take them out to hunt fucking bears or catch terrorists or something like that.

5. If you know the best way to choke someone you intend to rape, do NOT tell a girl this and most certainly do NOT talk to me. In fact, don’t leave your house unless you are going to check yourself into jail you fucking creeper.


Desirae said...

Bahahaahah! "well that depends, if your gonna rape a girl" O_O naw brah, sorry please leave our table..