Thursday, November 18, 2010

Listology

1. Have you ever asked yourself this question… ‘How do I really tell him that I'm a sarcastic bitch alcoholic?’ Its not an easy transition… like, ‘Oh btw…’

2. I'm working hard to not wish car accidents on dick bag drivers. I'm trying to tone it down by adding the side note *non-fatal* to said car accidents. I think this is called being a mature adult. Know what else mature adults do? We write reminders on our hands that we have to wake up early or buy cheese or call our grandmothers. I should really give lessons on this shit.

3. I hate using lids. I immediately take them off of my bottle/cup/whatever and trash them. I know, super weird right? Ok, mildly weird right?

4. Do we really need school zones for fucking high schools? Its really just outrageous. The only kids I knew in high school that were hit by cars totally deserved it. Ok, so maybe I didn’t know anybody hit by a car. Actually I do…OMG FOR REAL… my friend hit this kid w her car outside a party. And yes, he totally deserved it. It’s a good thing we were going slowly. Fuck way to make and break my own point.

5. I make really good mix CDs.

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