Thursday, July 15, 2010

Listerine

List time motherfuckers. What what. Get it, get it.

1. I cuss way more than any person should. I think it makes me sound quite classy!

2. Being told you are missed may or may not be the best thing you can hear. Ever.

3. Some people have never ever seen a polar bear. Hello? Welcome to planet Earth.

4. You know you’re mean when your friends have to tell you to behave yourself before you meet new people.

5. I don’t think anything mixes better with whiskey than water. I just can’t order it at the bar because then I look like an alcoholic. And that’s something I like to try to keep private. You know just between me, you and the world wide web. PS. does anyone call it the world wide web anymore? I think I just dated myself and I'm still a youngin. Something has gone terribly wrong. I blame BP. PPS. Clean up the fucking ocean already.

6. I need ideas about which corner will make me the most money when I become a street corner begger person. Most of the ones on my way home are taken. Oh and I need a close location to park my car. Obviously not too close because that would give me away, but fuck it if I'm walking in my beggers outfit in this heat.

7. My dog is smarter than most people I know. That probably means you. And my cats are def 100% smarter than you. Hey dummy, you’re life sucks.

8. Accusing someone of stealing the first time you meet them only makes them like you more, well until they find out you may or may not have been sleeping w their best friend.

9. I roll w a red plastic beer pong college cup everywhere. Most times it’s just full of water. Unless I'm getting pulled over by the cops. Then I like to have whiskey in it and spill it all over my floor as I try to hide it and almost shit my pants.

10. On that note, who gets 2 speeding tickets in one weeks time. Fucking speeders. And by that I mean dear cops, please go solve murders and arrest child molesters and leave drivers alone. Speeding never hurt anyone.

11. ‘Me and shadow haven’t touched heads in a while’ is by far the cutest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

12. I hate cucumbers. When I accidentally eat one its awful. And yes sometimes I accidentally eat one. Don’t judge me. You don’t know my life.

3 comments:

nsimmons518 said...

I don't know who you are or where you came from but this inter-web thing told me to look at your blog and it is the best thing I have come across yet (okay maybe it says your from around me so I am being generous) but its funny.

This is (almost) exactly what I am trying hard but not creative enough to be like. My tumblar is better but still a work in progress.

He says as he sits here in the dark drinking whiskey and water alone so nobody knows.

Love to meet you (if your really around denver) but not being strange, just agree with your life views... conversation could confirm that.

Keep it up, still laughing about the listerine and the "fucking wheel chair" thing. Hope you get this.

Also, why bunnies?

Thanks

J Bunny. said...

Omg thanks so much for your comments, totally made my fucking day. I like to think that I'm super amazing and hilarious, so its good to hear it from someone else, because after a while giving yourself compliments just seems narcissistic right?!

I just followed your blog today, Ill have to give it a look.

Couple of questions:
a. Do you really drink whiskey and water? If so, isn’t it wonderful? If not, try it immediately.
b. You live in Denver?
c. Do you know G or the LARD boys? I saw you follow their blogs too.
d. How do I know you aren’t a creeper? To be honest, I have way too many stalkers in my life to take on anyone else at this point in time. Haha.

Ps. You asked about bunnies. Bunnies because that’s my nickname… J Bunny or Jen Bunny or just plain old Bunny. I have no idea how it even started, but it has stuck and Ive just rolled with it. To be honest I would say a good ¼ of the people I know couldn’t even tell you my real name. Which is Jenna, by the way.

And I don’t know how this works or how to send you a message, so maybe you will read this comment? If not, what a waste of time. If so, yay!

nsimmons518 said...

yeah it sent me an email with your comment. send me a message (if you want) at nicksimmons518@gmail.com and i will answer all your questions.

cheers