Thursday, May 20, 2010

I honestly dont know how anybody puts up with me slash Im fucking hilarious

Actual conversation w some random dude I talk to most days.

blah blah blah

Him: Youre so mean.
Me: I am mean, but I'm funny. And why don’t we just break up? Seems like our only option.
Him: Nope. Youre going back to being my adorable sweet girlfriend and Ill go back to being good.
Me: How do I go back to being sweet when I didn’t even know I ever was?
Him: Ahhh man, this is going to be a rough shit show road with you. I swear to god.

blah blah blah

Me: I cant tell if youre being a douche or trying to be funny… either way its not working.
Him: Serious J is boring.
Me: Youre dead to me.
Him: Just keep kicking that horse.
Me: Fuck horses, nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
Him: Guess I'm going to have to go out for wet body wednesday tonight.
Me: Last word.
Him: Youre calling last word or what?
Me: Yes, breakups are hilarious.
Him: We aren’t breaking up!
Him: Youre never getting rid of me.

blah blah blah

Me: Youre a big retarded Indian. Don’t hang up on my bestie. Last word.
Him: Don’t tell me my business devil woman. Last word.
Me: Please refer to me as black widow spider. I'm so glad we are broken up. Last word.
Him: We aren’t fucking breaking up.

blah blah blah

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