Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I Call That Girl Black Widow Spider

Things I have learned…

1. My future husband will officially be mac lethal. He’s so fucking rad. And def knows how to entertain some bitches. I heart being a make out bandit.
2. Getting slapped in the face fucking hurts. Who knew? Not me… I’m from suburbia thank you very much. Apparently face slappage leads to immediate eye watering and intense shock. Because really… who fucking slaps a girl (even if she was asking for it) outside of the bedroom? So not cool. I’m coming to find you with a golf club (and potentially a knife for face stabbing) to even the score when I get off work today. Motherfucker.
3. Drunk philosophy is hard. Especially when trying to explain the allegory of the cave. So there are these people… in a cave... Imagine if all philosophy classes required drinking, people would be even more confused. Except for me of course.
4. While bringing a flask out in your purse is what I like to call planning ahead (and planning smart for that matter,) this is a moot point if you don’t drink from it and instead buy drinks at the bar. This is a concept one would think Ive mastered by now, and one would be dead wrong… because I’m an idiot, mehh mehh mehh.
5. Pizza is not for sharing.