Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Love, She Wrote

i have to go, i cant stay here.
youre not to blame, theres nothing to fear,
its been raining for months, and it feels like a year.
but tonight the sky is clear.



I dreamt of Michelle last night. Its the first time this has happened since she has been gone. She looked so beautiful, and happy.














We talked and hugged and cried. She told me that it is ok. She said feelings need to be felt and one shouldnt be afriad to do so. She said not to worry, that we were all going to be ok, especially C and S. She said she knew.

She said that she is always around and hears me when I talk to her even though I cant see her. She told me that it is ok to move on from him, that I was not his one true, and I will find that he was not mine. She said no matter what his/our status was, she would always be with me. By my side.


















I often talk to her (I know it seems a little weird), but lots of evenings when Im sitting outside in my back yard I look up at the sky and tell her things I wish I could 'really' tell her, I tell her I miss her, Im sorry, and I ask her for help. I also just say a quick I miss and love you whenever I hear songs that make me think of her, or really if anything happens and she crosses my mind. I do this with my Grandpa sometimes too. I dont know, I guess it just makes me feel like she isnt completely gone.

I always have vivid and intense dreams, some more than others, some crazier than others. And I dream often. While most of my dreams seem real, I have never EVER had a dream like this. Ive never had a dream that was so real- and still brings tears to my eyes hours after waking. I dont know if it means anything or it just seems that way because I want it to be. Either way, I woke up this morning feeling like I had just spent time with her, for real, and she was helping me through these hard times(as she had done many times here on Earth- even when I called her at 2am.)




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Bling, Bling Baby... this is the song that will forever be on Michelle's myspace page... Gives me chills.

She moves slowly,
dancing with me,
stealing hearts tonight.

She whispers softly,
words that kill,
but I am still alive.

And she said; shake it up baby
I know you like to fight.
Shake it up baby, shake it one more time.

I have to go, I can’t stay here.
Your not to blame girl, there’s nothing to fear,
It’s been raining for months, and it feels like a year.
But tonight the sky is clear.

Holding tightly, heart on my sleeve,
the world is ours tonight.
She moves closer,
I move closer, our lips both collide.

And she said; shake it up baby.
I know you like to fight.
Shake it up baby, shake it one more time.

I have to go, I can’t stay here
Your not to blame girl, there’s nothing to fear,
It’s been raining for months, and it feels like a year
But tonight the sky is clear

Give it up girl, give it up, give it up
Give it up girl, give it up whoa
Give it up girl, give it up, give it up
Give it up girl, give it up whoa
Give it up girl, give it up, give it up
Give it up girl, give it up whoa
Give it up girl, give it up, give it up
Give it up girl

I have to go, I can’t stay here
Your not to blame girl, there’s nothing to fear,
It’s been raining for months, and it feels like a year
But tonight the sky is clear, tonight the sky is clear


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Im hoping for my clear sky. Miss you forever girly! <3









(itll be ok photo)

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